Life, so far, is Compromise

I spend a lot of time analyzing what i'm doing and whether it's contributing to or remaining neutral to the major problems with mainstream society, the planet being fucked over, etc.

I just spent a month making crafts of all kinds and selling them at craft sales.
Is this useful?

Being self-employed, if it's not fucking over other human beings, (horrible people, horribly rich people, and corporations excluded) is probably better than being employed. The last two jobs i've had have basically been focussed on pampering the rich and i don't really like encouraging shit like that. These excesses are the ones that are making us as a species unsustainable. Fuck fancy restaurants and fuck nice hotels.

So being self-employed is kind of useful. Making a living by selling things i've made myself to people who really appreciate them is way less dehumanizing than reciting the script that comes with almost every job that involves public interaction. ("would you like the meal deal or just the sandwich? would you like lottery tickets with your fuel? pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, onions?")

And making shit that's recycled is alright. I feel alright about that.
Although none of it is very, very necessary shit. But life is not just about stark survival. Inspiration is important. So, grey area.

But ironically, one of the things that i sell the most of is shitty junk jewelry, the parts come from michaels (the big megacorporation craft supply store) and are probably made in a sweatshop or something, (i don't pay for them, but that doesn't make me feel that much better about them) and all i really do is attach part A to part B with a little wire loop, and ta-da! a necklace!

And yeah, i sell a lot of those. Those are the little things that fill in the financial gaps between the occasional rug or wind chime or whatever.

This is fine, this is survival.

But then the other day (on solstice, actually) dandy and i went for breakfast at the black sheep, and from the table beside us, one girl to the other, "aw, that's so nice, thanks!"

And i look over, and lo and behold, i'm witnessing someone giving someone else something i made, neither one knows that i have anything to do with it, and they're both excited about it!

And, it's a shitty piece of micheals junk jewelry.

And so it goes.